


it's just what you do

by ShipperTrash140109



Category: Dunkirk (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Gibson's Real Name Is Philippe Hugo Guillet, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Unhealthy Relationships, collins name is Jack, endgame gibson/tommy, farrier's name is Tom, or a hopeful ending at least, tommy is in an unfulfilling relationship basically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:00:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23523466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShipperTrash140109/pseuds/ShipperTrash140109
Summary: Cause you're just a manIt's just what you doYour head in your handsAs you color me blueYeah, you're just a manAll through and throughYour head in your handsAs you color me blueBlue, blue, blue
Relationships: Alex/Tommy (Dunkirk), Gibson/Tommy (Dunkirk)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	it's just what you do

**Author's Note:**

> okay so, i dont know why i decided to write angst because i dont like writing it but i feel like i didnt do too badly- THE ENDING IS SHIT BTW, i couldnt write a good snappy ending im sorry, but whatcha gonna do? yknow?  
> did i namedrop my friends and my friends OC's? yes. am i sorry? no  
> the song used is 'Norman Fucking Rockwell' by Lana Del Ray, i encourage you listen before during or after reading to get the vibe

**Godamn, man child** **  
You fucked me so good that I almost said, "I love you"**

The first warning sign should’ve been the fact that they’d fucked immediately after their first date- in fact the only reason they’d waited till the first date was the fact that neither had the facilities to fuck upon meeting each other the first time. Tommy should’ve thought about the fact that a good first date fuck might not make the best boyfriend, might not be the soft loving type, but he supposed he’d been too busy getting railed almost to the brink of collapse to really think about it much.

For all Alex’s flaws, he knew how to fuck, and sometimes that was all Tommy needed to negate all of Alex’s bullshit. He was harsh and unapologetic and had the cognitive skills of Tommy’s two-year-old nephew but at least he could use his dick to make Tommy forget all about it, right? Tommy had himself convinced for the most part, at least. Convinced enough that he had to bite his tongue whenever Alex fucked him halfway into the mattress so he didn’t say the L word, as if his relationship with Alex couldn’t get any more embarrassing.

**You're fun and you're wild** **  
But you don't know the half of the shit that you put me through**

It’s not hard to pick up on the fact that Alex has a crazy streak in him- you could see it in his eyes, hear it in the way he spoke. The first time Tommy had spoken to him he’d thought maybe Alex was on something, but he wasn’t, never is. For all the jokes he makes Alex is probably the soberest person Tommy knew if you took alcohol out of the equation.

Alex is spontaneous and out of control and he leaves Tommy breathless for many different reasons. He drives fast, talks boldly and lives on the edge as much as one could in a suburban town on the outskirts of London with bills to pay and uni classes to attend. He has fun and Tommy used to admire it until he realised just how much Alex tended to have _too much_ fun, and left Tommy dragging him out of fights or stopping him from blindly crossing a busy intersection or picking him up from the station. The stress eats at him, keeps him at Alex’s side like his fucking babysitter and makes him paranoid and _the complete opposite_ of the carefree life Alex leads.

It’s when he starts catching himself thinking ‘why the fuck not’ closely followed by ‘I’ll deal with it later’ that Tommy realises just how deep in the eye of the Alex storm he is. He’s deep enough to drop his awareness of the danger of the storm even though he can see it just metres in front of him, threatening to once again swallow him up.

**'Cause you're just a man** **  
It's just what you do**

If the term ‘boys will be boys’ was two people, it would be Tommy and Alex- Tommy being the person comforting themselves with the fact that _it’s just Alex’s nature_ to act the way he does. Alex preened and strutted and spoke confidently and held control in social situations and it was just so _man_ of him. He was the human form of testosterone and it used to fill Tommy’s stomach with butterflies and make him self-consciously curl in on himself when Alex hit him with the full force of his boyish ‘charm’ and took control so Tommy never had to worry about ever taking charge himself. Alex and Tommy may be the same creature, but they were entirely different species.

Where Tommy learnt to reel in and move on Alex learnt to grab and hold on, hold on until something or someone gave.

**Your head in your hands** **  
As you colour me blue**

They’ve never fought- not once, ever, though that wasn’t for lack of trying on Tommy’s part. For a man who was so good at escalating, he sure loved to run whenever he was faced with Tommy’s displeasure. At the slightest hint of a problem brimming between them Alex would rub his hands over his face and leave, and Tommy would never have the energy to chase him. Instead he’d just let Alex leave him downtrodden and lost in the room he left him in.

**Goddamn, man child** **  
You act like a kid even though you stand six foot two**

Tommy supposed it was his fault for assuming a man as masculine and deep-voiced as Alex would be a bit more mature than he’d actually turned out to be. To think Alex was older than Tommy- though not by much- made his brain ache a little. Tommy had no doubt that by the age most children were garnering enough self-control to share and care and all that other crap, Alex was still learning not to bite people when he didn’t get his way, always a step behind from the very start.

Except now he bit into Tommy’s shoulders out of pleasure rather than displeasure, though either way those teeth still left marks.

Alex’s inability to act like a functioning adult was subtle, unless you spent time with him to the degree Tommy did you likely wouldn’t notice the fact that Alex complained almost constantly. Alex can complain all morning and still fail to give Tommy a straight answer when asked what he’s even complaining about. He whines to be heard and to hear his own voice, though Tommy supposed his friends would argue all he does is vaguely complain about Alex all the time- another bit of the other man that had burrowed its way into Tommy’s being.

**You talk to the walls when the party gets bored of you** **  
But I don't get bored, I just see you through**

For all the flawed social skills Alex possesses, he’s always known how to control a situation; how to speak the loudest and hold your attention for at least a while even if you have no interest in whatever bullshit he’s spouting. When he and Tommy had first met, Alex had done his usual takeover of the conversation, and Tommy, who’d never been quiet but had also never been a fan of speaking too much had eaten it up- skin tingling at this tall, broad man speaking at him like he was the only one in the room. Now all Tommy gets out of Alex’s modus operandi is the knowledge that he’ll likely never get out more than ten words before Alex takes over.

It’s the control that people get so bored of- once those first few minutes pass. They get bored of having to listen without the option of interjection, they grow tired of having their sentences cut off and finished for them by this broad twat who never seemed to learn how to be quiet unless he directly gets something out of it. Unlike them, Tommy’s grown used to just tuning it out, to just watch and nod and play the mental game where he lists what he needs to do on the weekend, or what he’s had for breakfast this week until Alex eventually tires himself out and stops to try and think of another ‘elaborate’ monologue.

**Why wait for the best when I could have you?** **  
You**

Tommy’s dating aspects have never been impressive- in fact, Alex is probably on the better side, which is likely why Tommy has stuck around for so long. He’s attractive and he’s good in bed, that’s two things most of his previous dates have severely lacked. Tommy supposed if Alex was attractive, good in bed _and_ nice the world might fall out of balance.

Sometimes at night Tommy would think about it while Alex slept next to him- he thought about how he could use someone who could get along with others, someone who listened to him instead of talking for him, someone who’d hold his hand and hug him and didn’t slide to the very edge of the mattress away from him most nights including this one. He supposed all of that added up to someone who simply didn’t act like a child.

But who was Tommy to leave who was perhaps the best he’s ever had and might ever have?

**You make me blue** **  
Blue, blue, blue**

Alex has dragged him along to a party that somehow looks different yet exactly the same to every other party he gets taken to. Although, this time Tommy actually saw someone he recognised, and so excused himself from his place against Alex’s side to go and say hi- they were surprised to see him, but that surprise quickly turned into understanding when Tommy said he only came because his boyfriend invited him. They squinted through the small crowds littering the doorways until they caught a glimpse of Alex who was getting a drink for he and Tommy, by the looks.

She grinned as she looked at Tommy and winked, “well done, Tommy. Didn’t think you’d had it in you for a bit there, glad to see you’ve landed a good one” she giggled, and that’s how Tommy figured out she mustn’t know Alex, or very well, at least. Tommy only just managed to bite back a _‘you don’t know the half of it,’_ before he hugged her goodbye and made his way back to Alex.

He’d managed to find someone to talk over during Tommy’s absence, and if it weren’t for the fact that Tommy needed to grab his drink before Alex started moving his hands about, he might’ve stopped and stared at the man Alex had found.

The man was so handsome he was almost pretty- sharp jawline, thick bottom lip that almost rivalled Alex’s on Tommy’s scale of ‘lips built for giving head,’ a dark head of thick curls, and a fascinating pair of green doe-eyes. Tommy was just glad this stranger was too busy listening to Alex to notice his staring.

Minutes went by and still the guy did not leave- Tommy swore he must be out for the record of ‘longest time spent listening to Alex talking about himself’ that Tommy himself had set long ago. It’s interesting though, because the guy must be genuinely listening, as every time Alex says something hypocritical or downright strange, the pretty bloke smirks and those green eyes glitter. Similar but entirely different to the green of Alex’s eyes.

The man has just hit the seven-minute mark when Tommy excuses himself to go to the bathroom, Alex’s voice slowly growing quieter and quieter as Tommy puts distance between them. Though, he swears he can still hear the low, Cheshire twang of Alex’s voice even after he’s closed the bathroom door. That’s another thing he never truly got to the bottom of- for a man who’s always preached his love of the highlands where he was born and raised, he sounds almost exactly like Tommy’s mate from bloody Cheshire. The brunet rolls his eyes, he supposed that was another thing to add to the list of Alex’s ‘hmm’ qualities.

He’s washing his hands at the sink when the door opens, a head of dark hair appearing in the corner of Tommy’s eye- _Alex._

Though, in all the time Tommy’s known Alex, he’s never known him to have a French accent.

“Does he always do that?” the man asks, and Tommy turns, eyes widening as he realises it’s the pretty bloke from before, the one that was doing such an impressive job of listening to Alex’s monologuing.

Tommy swallows thickly as he turns the sink off, shrugging “likes to have a chat, y’know?” he mumbled, looking around the room so he didn’t stare. There’s silence between them, and Tommy’s about to beg to hear that foreign accent again before the man starts talking again, almost as if he could sense Tommy’s unease at the lack of noise in the bathroom- he supposed he wasn’t much used to silence, at least when Alex is around, anyway.

“You don’t have to hang around him all night- some of my friends are trying to get the firepit going, you should join us”

“Why have you been wasting your time listening to Alex, then? Waiting to get me alone or something” Tommy blurts, and he feels his cheeks go warm at the implication, let alone when the other man nods his head honestly, mouth twisting into a dorky smile as he shrugs his shoulders, head tilting with the action. He’s charming- charming and honest and soft-spoken and so of course Tommy nods his head and follows him through the house to the backyard.

He meets the guy- Philippe’s friends as he takes a seat around the dwindling flame. There’s a broad blond-haired man coddling the small licks of orange in the middle of the pit, feeding them newspaper and twigs as they flicker and burn. Beside Tommy is a young couple by the looks- both men- one brunet and somehow even broader than the man tending the fire, a fact that is only emphasised by his singlet, and Tommy can’t help but notice his bulging biceps that are covered in more tattoos than Tommy could even count, more than Alex has, anyway. On his lap sits a leaner blond man, his feet still resting firmly against the dirt despite being perched up on his boyfriends’ thighs, Tommy nervously introduces himself, and the blond man responds quickly.

“Wondered where Phil had gotten off to- m’Jack, he’s Tom” he starts with a Scottish accent that Tommy can only chuckle at- that’s what Alex _should_ sound like if he’s from the highlands as he proclaims he is. “That bloke is Alexander, those three over there are FUCKING BRATS!” Tommy sinks back into his seat as Jack shouts over at a group of three girls sitting on the other side of the firepit. They look up at him at the sound of his voice and two of them glare at him before the darkest-haired one start’s shouting back with an accent almost as distinct as Jack’s himself.

“ _Those three over there are fucking brats”_ she mimics in a dodgy Scottish accent impersonation, before flipping him off, which makes Jack almost vibrate with poorly hidden annoyance. Tommy would ask, but he’s not sure he really wants to know.

Tommy looks over to the sliding doors to see Philippe carefully making his way through the crowd, two drinks in hand, followed closely by a pair of girls that carrier a drink each, their hands joined between them, one had red hair down to her chest, and the other short dark hair that barely passed her jawline- how many people did this guy know?

Beyond the small group he could see Alex, mostly hidden by people walking around him, but Tommy could see he was talking to a couple people- though they looked half asleep already. Tommy feels a pang of guilt in his chest for leaving the brunet, but the feeling dissipates as Philippe sits down next to him, handing him a glass of something fruity looking.

“You met everyone? Quite a group here tonight, usually it’s just Jack, the brat pack and I,” Philippe explained, pointing to Jack, who was now fervently swapping spit with Tom, and then pointing to the girl who Collins had been having a row with. “Oh! And that’s Alexander, and those two are Stella and Tilly” he explains, pointing to Alexander- which Jack had already named, and then the two girls Philippe had been walking with, who’d settled close between the three girls and Jack and Tom.

“Do they have names? Collins called them that too- are they actually friends?” Tommy asked, and Philippe chuckled, the sound making Tommy’s chest fill with warmth.

“Yea, Brooke, Ruby and Kat. Collins gets along fine with Ruby, but he’s not the biggest fan of the other two since the bowling incident.”

Tommy sat up straighter in his seat, eyebrows raised “the bowling incident?” he repeated with a laugh, Alex now sitting far back in his mind.

“They kept replacing his bowling ball with one’s that were the same colour but increasingly lighter until he sent one rocketing into the roof and he got kicked out.”

Tommy laughed out loud at that, and he couldn’t really remember the last time he’d really actually had a _good time_ at one of these parties, they’d kind of become a chore up until this point. Tommy spares a look inside again, eyes finding Alex quickly- he doesn’t even realise Tommy is gone by the looks, he’s too focussed on himself and whatever bullshit is leaving his mouth. The brunet feels his heart drop in his chest, and he takes a long sip of his drink to distract himself from the tears prickling the back of his eyes. Alex made him fucking miserable and here he was feeling _guilty_ for leaving him even though Alex couldn’t likely give less of a shit.

“Are you okay, Tommy?” Philippe asks and it’s enough to shake Tommy from his thoughts, turning his head to look at the other man, he nods, and then Philippe smiles comfortingly, and Tommy feels his stomach go fuzzy and warm like the fire sitting just a metre from them.

In the back of his mind, the long list of disappointing men in his life gets another addition, and further towards the front, another list forms, a similar but different list of men who don’t make him feel quite so blue.

**Blue, blue, blue**


End file.
